I am frustrated

Dance

So yesterday I had a strange day with a lot of beautiful and shitty moments. I loved our impro- jam and I was really into it the first hour and at the end of the second hour. I was also watching the people in my class dance and it was very beautiful.  the ballet class was a good class with simple exercises but for some reason I couldn’t do anything. I felt really tense and I really tried to focus on one thing at a time and relax but I just could not concentrate.  I felt really shitty because I had no control over my body and I felt disconnected, I couldn’t even do a simple plié without almost loosing it.

I don’t understand how trying so hard results in nothing and when I don’t care about what I’m doing it actually works better. I thought I was supposed to push myself an try my best. I’m trying but It’s not working, maybe I’m trying to hard in the wrong areas. I try to work on standing properly, using my turnout and musicality because I feel like it is the base of everything. What else should I do to feel free to move in ballet class? I’m so frustrated…

Frustrated in a positive way because I still really want to work trough it and It’s not like I am letting it strop me in any way.

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