I’m in control of my life now, finally I feel like I’m on top of everything again. I got a little lost there for a moment, but I found my way back. Or maybe not back but I found something new, something better. I guess you could say that you always just find new places, people, moments, feelings or versions of yourself. Since everything is constantly changing…
I’m moving next week, on Tuesday. I’m so FUCKING EXCITED ABOUT IT because I can’t live here anymore. There is a bad vibe here and I can’t deal with it anymore… So that’s why I’m so grateful that I have such amazing friends that are always there fore me when I need them to be. I’m staying with a friend for a week until I can move in to the new apartment. I don’t know what I would do without her.
The new apartment is very close to my school, which is my second home and I love. I’m moving in with one of my friends that I love very much and it is going to be epic. It’s a big apartment in a really nice neighborhood and It feels unreal that we are going to be living there for 6 months.
The most stressful thing in my life right now is my economic situation. I need a job asap and hopefully I get one or I wont be able to live in the awesome apartment this summer. But I won’t loose hope, I know everything is going to work out. If I don’t get a job I will create a job. after all, creating things is what I’m good at.
Speaking of creating things, I’m doing a project with a friend of mine this summer. We are choreographing a piece and are planing to tour with it. It is an awesome opportunity to learn how you make a creative idea come to life. This is what I want to do with my life, for the rest of my life so it feels great to finally make this dream of mine real.
I’m also currently working on 2 other projects of my own and I’m researching what preforming in an attempt to find a way to deal with my performance anxiety.
So my calendar has never been so full, and I’ve never enjoyed being alive so much. Like finally I’m doing what I want, and I’m being challenged by life. I’m really thankful and excited to be alive.
But the busyness of my life at the moment also brings a lot of stress which I’m learning to deal with. these past two weeks have been really tough because I’ve been finding it very difficult to sleep. But I think I figured it out now and since I’m in a positive mindset ATM I kind of see all the ”struggle” as a challenge and and opportunity to learn how to conquer it and in doing so also conquering life.